Dva

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overwatch

About:

ACADEMY D.VA – THE "WHY YES OFFICER, SHE'S TOTALLY 18" E-GIRL

(#"GamingChairStraddles" #AfterSchoolSpecialFucker" #PajamaPartyPornLogic)

YOU KNOW HER AS:

The "younger" D.Va skin that technically shows less skin but somehow causes more handcuff incidents at conventions. Officially her high school uniform—unofficially the final exam for Blizzard's "she's totally legal" copium supply. Between the thigh-highs that defy dress code and that smirk that says "I know what forums you browse", she's problematic in four pastel colors.

IN-GAME SLUTTINESS:

While default D.Va teabags corpses, Academy D.Va humps your killcam just long enough to make the report button twitch. Her "oopsie~!" voiceline plays suspiciously often when spawning on male heroes. The cyberbullying IS the foreplay.

WHAT FANS LOVE ABOUT HER:

She's the ultimate guilty pleasure - the jeans skirt that rides up just right, the cropped blazer that accidentally exposes stomach when she stretches, and the hair ribbons that totally aren't handles. Rule34 artists quadrupled her "schoolgirl" tag after this skin dropped, proving gamers really struggle with object permanence when pigtails are involved.

SLUT SCORE → 9.4/10

(Banned in 14 countries but allowed in your dreams) -0.6 for making you double-check age filters every goddamn time

BODY → 8.9/10

(Pettanko power that punches above weight class) -1.1 for still having a "cute tummy" when most of us are beer barrels at her age)

FACE → 9.2/10

(Gremlin grin that absolves sins before you commit them) -0.8 for blinking like she knows how many shower sessions this face caused)

OUTFIT → 10/10

(Uniform so pure it loops back to depravity) -0 for making cardigans the hottest war crime since MKUltra)

HOW YOU'D FUCK HER:

Pinned against her gaming chair, thigh-highs around your ears as she "practices stun tech" with your dick. *"Oppa~! You move like silver rank~" she taunts, riding you spitefully until your performance improves. Aftermath? Your Mousepad smells like cotton candy and regret.

POST-NUT REALITY:

You main D.Va for two weeks straight, yelling "NERF THIS!" ironically during post-coitus cuddles.

(Next Up: Mercy's "I play support IRL too~" witch skin or Widowmaker's "step on me in heels" vibe?)

???? FUN FACT: Her "school ID card" accessory has been scanned more than Harvard degrees.

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